Last week I wrote about clearing timelines and the purposes of that. If you missed that post, you can read it here: Clearing Old Realities
A HUGE part of my process is simply having the awareness to see the patterns that exist for me with clear, nonjudgmental eyes. As someone who has spent a large majority of my life choosing not to feel, using spiritual tools and seeing healers so I would not have to feel, and running towards addictive behaviors to avoid it all, my clearing process tends to be emotionally-based. I had an experience last night where I was (again) brought to my knees to surrender to a Divine power that is both within me and greater than the small (limited, lack-filled) me.
So what happened? Late at night (red flag #1 as this only happens to me when I’m bored and/or lonely at night) I went online to look at my favorite Andara crystal website. I was drawn to a specific piece, but more than that, I felt the energies of obsession, need, want, and like I could not live without it. I then proceeded to plan, scheme, and try every way I could to figure out how I could make this purchase right then and there, for when I’ve chosen to act out this type of behavior in the past, there was never any waiting. (Impulse energy)
The energy was fierce. I could clearly see what I was doing, and yet, I felt too out of control to stop myself… which is why I called a friend who has coached me through these types of situations before. (Thank you, PM! Everyone deserves a friend like you. 🙂 ) The difference is, this time, instead of just thinking about calling her, I actually did. (New choices = New realities) After we spoke, I had even more clarity that this is a pattern that has come up to be released and that there is still something within me that chooses to give all of my money to outside sources until I am no longer supported.
Still, after our talk, I felt the need to play this timeline out further by contacting the person selling the Andara and submitting them to my fear and lack energy. Only after the moment do we ever realize that this is what we’re doing.
What I have learned: Clearing timelines is not for the faint of heart. A shopping addiction may be how this is playing out, but this pattern of self-abuse stems from a deep fear of having enough. It’s a distortion of my not caring for the outside world. After going inside, I realize that continually choosing lack of money is a way to prevent me from having the freedom that I truly desire. Lack keeps me stuck in situations that I would rather not be in and it is a convenient excuse for so many things in my current reality. With this clarity, now is the time to break away from this karmic cycle if I so choose.
The funny part is, although I have spent the week telling others that the Light is greater than any darkness and to have faith, now I get to fully experience this, too. I just did a session with a woman who had dealt with a really difficult lifelong pattern that she had tried and tried to turn over, get over, move beyond, pray about, process about, etc. After our session, things shifted and she is now moving in the direction she wants to go. My takeaway is, if Divine Source can do this for her even after so many years of struggle, then surely, the same can happen for me.
I am aware that I need to take different actions and mental attitudes than in the past in order to activate a new, financially secure reality. This is the part that is up to me. I have been praying both for inspiration and willingness as well as turning this over to Pure Source Light. So, in this new Spirit, here is a list of things that I do now that I wish to no longer do accompanied by the activation of my new reality:
- Take Money For Granted >>> Honor And Respect My Income
- “Browse” Stores Late At Night >>> Shop At Times When I Have A Clear Mind (Place Reminders For Myself Near My Computer & In My Wallet So I Can Actually Do This)
- Continue To Feed Lack Energy >>> Feed Abundance Energy By Allowing Myself To Have Enough… Even More Than Enough
- Living For Today, Choosing To Debt And To Live Without (Savings, Stability, Things I Truly Need) >>> Placing My Stability, My Freedom, And My Needs First
- Acting Out Need And Desperation With/Towards Others >>> Seeing This Energy For What It Is And Choosing To Clear It Before Talking With Others
- Making Others Responsible For My Bills & Financial Habits >>> Taking My Power Back, Admitting That I DO Have Choice And Power In This
- Trying To Do This Alone >>> Turning This Over (And Not Taking It Back), Asking For This To Be Worked On In The Dream State So I Don’t Have To Continue To Play This Out In My Reality
- Staying in Complaint Energy/”Can’t”/Victim Mentality >>> Envisioning A New Timeline Where I Feel Great About Money, I Have Savings, And I Make Amazing Financial Decisions With A Clear Mind And Open Heart
I’ve been in this place before and every time I go deeper into clearing this version of lack programming. I thank my YOU-niverse for showing this to me to see if I am really done.
Until Next Time… Blessings of Pure Love and Light! ❤