Coming to Terms with My Expansion

A hot topic within the spiritual community right now is discussion of Ascension symptoms. While it is my opinion that there should be another word for this as “symptoms” (to me) still reeks of the old world/old realities/everything as a problem that needs to be fixed, I will use “symptom” for lack of a better term. Regardless of whether our Ascension as an Embodied Soul here on NEW Earth is causing us to feel physical pain, exhaustion, wanting to be alone, etc. the key to remember is that these symptoms are a sign that we are evolving. We cannot live on NEW Earth if we are still trapped in the old and our physical bodies must Ascend, too. As with most things in life, it is the mind that wants to label, judge, and see this as a problem. The Soul/Higher Self knows that all that presents is simply part of the Divine plan so that we can continue to go higher while continuing to move into our fully Awakened state.

Today, I want to write about a symptom (hmm… maybe side effect of ascension is closer to what this actually is) that has occurred/been occurring for me over the past year or so. I write this because this topic has become very much distorted to the human aspect and as always, I share to assist others who may be going through this too.

I have written before that it’s been an up-and-down journey with my husband. I find increasingly now that I am the one who is “awake” and he is having a difficult time with how this manifests, because frankly, his human self misses the old me who used to drink, smoke weed, not care about consciousness/speak in these “weird” terms, and enjoy physical intimacy/closeness. One year (maybe more… who can keep track of time here? Lol.) I was experiencing severe and intense pain during sex. After many doctor’s visits, it was deemed that there was nothing physically wrong with me. The doctor chaulked it up to emotional issues and stress, but it is only now that I can see what was really going on… especially as my Ascension continues to progress. I will say, however, that I am thankful to no longer be in that state, yet I know that it had a purpose.

Sex is one of, if not the most intimate act for our physical bodies to experience. Over time, I have craved this experience less and less. While I no longer suffer from physical pain during intimacy, it feels like I have had enough right now. There is no way to describe it other than to say that it feels impure. Recently, I have even started to dislike being touched in less intimate ways as I am feeling like I no longer want to interact with human anything, least of all their lower vibrations that still don’t understand the Soul’s journey, still have lack, judgment, politics, drama, etc. I no longer live there anymore. There is something about my continued acknowledgment of my own Divinity that makes me enjoy my own company and want to keep the sacredness of my own body.

Now of course, this isn’t the easiest thing while being married to a man who is not on my Ascension journey. Saying “no” to physical intimacy and craving alone time is about honoring my physical space and respecting my own needs and energetic boundaries. Yet, I find myself needing to move beyond guilt energy as I was so often told that being a good wife means having sex with your husband, making yourself available whenever he wants, and being submissive. My Soul refuses to put up with this as it no longer aligns with my Truth. It’s a hard sell to my husband who, in his human form, takes this personally and can’t see that this is about respect, honor, trust, and love. Not wanting to have sex is not about him at all.

I believe every experience has a purpose. I can see how this has made it abundantly clear that we are in two different world/You-niverses/vibrations. But I can’t go back. There are times when I wonder if I’m insane for all I do, discuss, and feel, but my Soul knows this is real. I am here to transcend all human limits of lack and limitation — even the human need for sex and physicality in place of a higher version of intimacy.

Please know that I am in no way demonizing sex or saying that sex has no part in the Ascension process. Many others have written about tantra, kundalini awakening, heart opening, creative drive, root/sacral chakra balance and the like as ways to use sex in an Ascended way here. However, I feel that vibrationally-speaking, it is in my best interest to be picky. I am fairly certain that if my husband was closer to me in vibration — specifically, if I could feel that he viewed sex and intimacy as a sacred act — then I would feel differently.

Frankly, I am tired of the back and forth. One day we are in bliss, love, and magic and the next it is back to me confronting his human aspect and being faced with coldness/disbelief/dishonor/disconnection because I choose to respect myself, my body, and my personal space. On the Soul and physical levels, it is time for us to choose: Do we as a couple want to live and experience old Earth or NEW?

As of today I had a talk with his Soul. I told him that I need to move on. He can come with me and elevate if he chooses, but I can’t play with his human anymore. I thank him for the role he has played in honoring our Soul contract and now it is PAID IN FULL. It’s time for me to be with others who are vibrationally on my level and who are totally invested (as I am) in anchoring and integrating NEW Earth.

I’m both scared and excited to see how this all plays out in my physical reality. The thing is, I am not afraid of being alone. I know that if this relationship needs to end someone who is a vibrational match will come in. More than that, I have my own Soul, my own guides, my Soul’s work, and my own connection to the Divine so I am not dependent on anyone else for love. This is a huge and radical shift for me and for many that I interact with here on NEW Earth. I trust that I AM being lead, guided, and directed to exactly where I need to be in every moment.

New, different, bizarre, magical, bliss… is a constant process. Enjoy every moment and expect to be amazed.

Until next time… Many Blessings, Much Love, and Ascended Light!

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